Learning. One day at a time.

Feet. Nothing but feet and legs walking back and forth and back and forth. Those tired worn out emergency curtains are only good for a bit of privacy.

But only a visual privacy.

You can hear every conversation going on. Every single private confidential conversation between doctor and patient. I was entertained at first.

I actually wanted the curtains to open up so I could watch all the action from my gurney and be able to listen better. So much was going on. Nearly every couple of hours another helicopter was landing on the roof. "Code Blue!" I heard over the loudspeaker at least twice. I whispered a prayer for him ... as I always do when an ambulance passes by.

I laid there while my sister sat in a chair next to me for more than seven hours. What a patient and loving sister! (And she works in that same hospital as a nurse and yet spent that time there with me on her day off)!

(my mother was unable to visit as she is still radioactive from her thyroid cancer treatments and needs to be isolated)

We played 20 Questions and eavesdropped on my neighbors on either side behind the curtains.

The doctors are checking me for a matter of things. They hooked me up to a monitor to check my vital organs. I've had a brain cat scan and and EKG, a slew of blood tests, and soon I'm going to have a brain MRI and an EEG along with a visit to the neurologist.

So far the results are negative (which is positive).

I experienced some sort of black-out over the weekend.

My blood pressure is remarkably high ... just under the clouds ...I think. And, my pulse races much too quickly.

Between my early morning kitchen remodel to working side illustration jobs late into the evenings... I've barely had any time to do much else.

I've been behind on my house cleaning. And yard work. And emails. And have too many unreturned phone calls. I've been saying no to get-togethers with friends and dinners with my family.

Everything that keeps me feeling centered and at peace, I have been neglecting, and saying no to. Ultimately making me the author of my own unhappiness.

On a deeper level, I know better.

As I concentrate on getting better, I am reminding you to be kind toward yourself as well, in all the choices you make about your everyday life.

there is a voice inside of you
that whispers all day long,
"i feel that this is right for me,
i know that this is wrong."
no teacher, preacher, parent, friend
or wise man can decide
what's right for you- just listen to
the voice that speaks inside." ~ Shel Silverstein